If you’ve looked at a screen of any sort in the past two weeks, then you’re no doubt aware that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have called off their engagement.
Not only that, Ari and Pete parted ways in unexpectedly ugly fashion following a whirlwind (albeit very brief) romance, during which they couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.
He joked about the breakup on an SNL promo; she roasted him on Twitter and then released a song about all of her exes.
It was a whole thing.
Anyway, Pete pleaded for privacy during a recent “Weekend Update” segment (after weeks of sharing every intimate detail of his relationship with anyone willing to listen, but we digress …), and it looked as though that might be the end of the Ari-Pete drama.
But apparently, Pete is still weighing heavily on Ari’s mind — and it seems she still finds relief in venting her frustrations with her ex on social.
Commenting on a recent clickbait article piece entitled “13 tips and tricks for finding the perfect engagement ring (including the popular metal you should actually avoid),” Ari wrote simply, “Don’t.”
That single word is roughly the 4 bajillionth indication that Grande nothing but regret when she reflects on her time with Davidson.
Of course, in all likelihood, Ariana was joking, and given her affinity for her longterm relationships, marriage is probably in her future at some point.
But if she wanted to offer up some real advice based on her own life experiences, it might sound something like this:
Don’t get engaged to someone you’ve only been dating six weeks.
Don’t get engaged to someone who’s fresh from rehab but is openly and proudly using again.
And whatever you do, don’t date some hacky hipster comic who’s fanbase consists of “people who like his sneaker pics on Instagram” and who landed a spot on SNL despite never being able to portray a character who doesn’t look and act exactly like Pete Davidson.
We look forward to Ariana’s future songs on that subject:
“Get U a Kate McKinnon Type” and “Bill Murray Can Get Away With Always Playing Himself (U Can’t)” are sure to be bangers.