By now, you’ve likely heard about Meghan Markle’s awful family.
If you’ve somehow remained blissfully unaware of these shifty-eyed grifters, allow us to fill you in and squash any optimism you may have been harboring about the nature of humanity.
Basically, Samantha Markle is doing her best to ruin Meghan’s life, and she’s recruited her brother and father to assist in the effort.
It’s anyone’s guess as to why Samantha has decided to dedicate her waking hours to humiliating Meghan.
We know she’s desperate for money and attention, and a few trashy outlets have paid her for interviews.
But it often seems that there’s more than just simple greed at work here.
Samantha really seems to be the sort of wicked royal semi-sibling we thought only existed in fairy tales.
Fortunately, it seems that Meg’s half-brother Thomas Markle Jr. is motivated by slightly less sinister forces.
He really just wanted to cash in on his sister’s fame (which is why he wrote an open letter to Prince Harry begging him not to marry Meghan), and it seems that now that he’s realized that’s never gonna happen, he’s trying to bury the hatchet.
Thomas is set to marry fiancee Darlene Blount in March, and he’s made it clear that he’d like Meghan and Prince Harry to be guests of honor at the wedding.
“‘Absolutely I think our wedding will bring the family closer together. It’s hopeful that if Meghan and Harry came and my father,” Thomas recently told The Daily Mail.
“Meghan and Harry could spend some time together with him and that would be good.”
Thomas says when he first informed Darlene that his sister was dating Prince Harry, she was understandably skeptical:
“I remember that very well — Meghan and Harry had just started dating and I mentioned it to her and she looked at me like, ‘Yeah, who is this guy? Whatever! He’s crazy,'” he recalls.
“But it turned out really nice and we’ve had a really good time ever since. [We’ve had] ups and downs but we’ve managed to make it so far.”
“I thought he was completely crazy,” Darlene says of Thomas’ revelation.
You still might not be wrong on that one, Darlene.
Thomas Sr., meanwhile, says he has no intention of relenting in his obnoxious stalker-like efforts to form a relationship with his sister (something he showed zero interest in during the first 35 years of her life).
“I’ll keep talking and I’ll probably get louder. Meghan and Harry’s silence empowers all the crazy tweets and insults against me and my family,” he said in a recent interview.
“I’ve been quiet long enough. If they ever want to speak to me, maybe I’ll quieten down a little bit. But in the meantime, I’m not going to become a monk in a monastery and take a vow of silence.”
In other Meghan news, it seems Snoop Dogg wants to smoke weed with the Duchess.
They should probably wait until after Meghan gives birth in spring, but given the increasingly batsh-t behavior of her family, a Dutch for the Duchess. is definitely in order.