Last year, disgraced former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle lost his appeal.
But for all of his efforts to regain his freedom, his 15-year-sentence doesn’t sound too rough.
According to a man who spent months in bars alongside him, Jared is living his best life. That’s kind of disappointing, right?
Despite his many efforts to win his freedom, Jared Fogle remains behind bars, where he belongs.
But just a couple of weeks ago, 41-year-old Marc Brooks was released from the same facility.
Brooks had spent eight months serving his sentence alongside the disgraced former sandwich spokesman.
And he tells The Daily Mail that Jared’s time behind bars isn’t exactly The Shawshank Redemption.
“‘Yo, he’s living the life in there,” Brooks characterizes.
He continues: “he’s eating good, working out, cooking…not a care in the world.”
“It’s like Club Fed,” Brooks assesses. “They’ve got a movie theater, a fully-equipped gym with weights, ellipticals, StairMasters, cable weights.”
“Outside,” he continues. “They have a baseball field, tennis court, soccer field, horse shoe pits, a bocce ball court and corn hole.”
Of Fogle, Brooks says: “He got his culinary arts certificate while all these other sex offenders were getting their GEDs and stuff. I took the photos.”
We’re not sure who would want to knowingly eat food prepared by an infamous pedophile, but that’s neither here nor there.
“Subway Guy is in the low security section,” Brooks shares. “He’s in a dry cell, that means the door is never locked.”
So, Brooks explains, “he can wander around and use the phone, use the computers, use the movie theater, whatever he wants.”
That makes a kind of sense. Fogle probably isn’t a danger to the guards unless it’s a poorly conceived take-your-child-to-work-day.
“When I first got there I was like ‘man, you guys have got it made in here!’ I couldn’t even believe it was a prison,” Brooks says.
Notably, people are much more likely to emerge from prison reformed when they are treated like actual people while behind bars.
“It’s more like a daycare than a prison,” Brooks marvels.
“There’s a hobby section there for painting, leather work…there’s people making little toy cars, carpentry,” he says.
“There’s dudes in there who do crochet and knitting,” he adds.
Brooks also reports the existence of pool tables, ping pong, and dart boards.
“He gets a lot of down time, there’s a recreation station with cards, Monopoly, Risk,” Brooks says of Fogle.
“So,” he says. “He can sit outside in the sun and chill with his little sex offender buddies.”
“He’s getting money that he can spend in the commissary store,” Brooks notes.
Not so long ago, Jared Fogle was worth $15 million.
“They have fancy snacks in there,” he characterizes. “Stuff like candy, chips, meats, tuna, mackerel, real nice foods.”
Despite that, Fogle is apparently looking healthier than ever.
“He looks real healthy and fit,” Brooks says of the disgraced former spokesman.
“I’d say he’s about 180-200 pounds,” Brooks estimates. “He’s 6’2′ so that’s about perfect.”
Sure, though of course ideal weight has to do with many health factors, not just height. But it’s Jared Fogle, so we’re not terribly invested.
“When I first got there I would make fun of him,” Brooks says, noting that Fogle was an easy target for ridicule.
“We’d shout things like, ‘hey Subway are you going to try and get a job at Quiznos or Jimmy John’s next?'” Brooks says.
Apparently, Brooks was serving time after an arrest by the Bad Joke Police.
“After that I just kept my mouth shut,” he says. “I didn’t want to go anywhere near him or his nasty sex offender buddies.”
“There’s one sex offender on the range making little stuffed animals,” Brooks accuses. “What’s he going to do with them when he gets out? It’s horrible.”
There’s a difference between someone honing a craft for work or therapy and someone perfecting skills that they could use as a predator.
“I was totally grossed out by all the pedophiles in there,” Brooks admits.
“Sometimes you’d want to punch them, because of the disgusting stuff they would say, but I never did that,” he shares.
He explains: “I didn’t want to mess up and get extra time, I wanted to get home to my momma and my sister.”
That sounds very reasonable.
It’s not the gross thoughts of pedophiles that make them so reprehensible. It’s the lives that their actions ruin.