This season of The Bachelor has been full of surprises, but there’s been one constant throughout:
Hannah Brown is, and forever will be, one of the thirstiest people on the planet.
As you know, Hannah is not officially involved in this year’s competition.
But that hasn’t stopped her from showing up on set unexpectedly and offering an endless stream of commentary from her couch.
She’s like a 40-year-old ex-high school quarterback who still shows up at his alma mater and insists on making the pregame locker room speech.
Some people think Hannah should have a second turn as Bachelorette.
Others have noted that her season sucked because she made one bad decision after another and kept the likes of Luke Parker and Jed freakin’ Wyatt hanging around until the very end.
The fact is, Hannah has had a very good run and remained relevant far longer than most viewers expected.
But in all likelihood, Ms. Brown is in her fourteenth minute of fame — a fact she seems very well aware of.
And so, Hannah is pulling out all the stops as Peter Weber’s season of The Bachelor enters its final stretch.
As you’re probably aware we’re down to Peter’s final four, and everyone has an opinion on Weber’s choices — especially Hannah Brown.
Hannah has been offering her two cents through her Instagram Stories, and while she has yet to pick a favorite, she’s been very clear on the identity of her least favorite.
There’s been a lot of controversy surrounding Victoria Fuller this season, and — spoiler alert! — the best/worst is yet to come.
Of course, Victoria’s self-deprecating wit makes her a pleasant change of pace from the show’s usual parade of Insta-fame-obsessed pageant queens, and no one really knows her entire story yet, so we’re reserving judgment.
But you know who’s not holding back? That’s right — Hannah Brown.
Hannah recorded herself watching the latest episode — yes, this woman is so thirsty it’s like she woke up in the middle of the Sahara with a raging hangover — and she basically unloaded on Victoria with both barrels.
During an emotional scene in which Victoria describes herself as “annoying to be around,” Hannah quips, “Well… you said it,” and unleashes that rapid-fire guffaw that somehow endeared her to Bachelor viewers south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
Yes, Hannah Brown is blasting other people for being “annoying to be around.”
We don’t know how this is possible, but it seems that Hannah Brown has never met Hannah Brown!
Look, we know a lot of you feel bad for Hannah for the way her season played out, but let’s not forget, she was an unpopular choice for Bachelorette from the very beginning, and she’s the one kept Luke and Jed, and cut Tyler Cameron and Peter.
Oh, and if your complaint with the show these days is that it features too many melodramatic crying jags and self-absorbed monologues studded with liberal use of the word “like” — well, no one is more responsible for ushering in those trends than Hannah Brown, who was never dry-eyed during her time on Colton Underwood’s season.
Like, like it or not, Hannah is like the Like Queen who gave us this like total mess of a season.