I need your advice because I am a bit confused. I have known my girlfriend since I was in school and when I say school I mean secondary school. I have practically loved her my whole life and she knows this. I finished university three years ago and since then I have been searching for a job but in order not be completely jobless I teach in a school where I am being paid token fees. Despite me not having enough I still give to my woman the little I can and when she entered the university, I shipped clothes for her to sell. We were so close that we promised each other that we would never leave one another but all that changed this February when my lady’s aunt came to stay with them. I don’t know why but the woman doesn’t like me at all. She calls me poor and good for nothing. I don’t mind her because my lady’s parents are in support of me but lately my lady has started giving me attitude. I found out through her younger brother that the so-called aunt has hooked my lady with another guy. According to the brother, this guy is based in the states and he has been sending his sister gifts. I confronted her with this and she admitted that it was true. To make matters worse, she called it quit with me but because I knew I still loved her I didn’t bother replying her. Yesterday she called me with a private number, apologising for her behaviour that she still loved me and wants to be with me. I asked about her so-called boyfriend and she told me not to worry about him.
Oyin, I am not comfortable with this and I refused to be a backup man for her failed relationship with the other guy. Please tell me what to do before I lose it totally.
Bamidele, Lagos State
Don’t let emotions cloud your feelings. You know deep within you that when the other guy comes she would let you go, so why disturb yourself? My advice, if you really want to be sure she is for you then give her an ultimatum. If she doesn’t delete the guy’s number from her phone then she should let you be. Some ladies are carried away by what they see and if she is not grateful to have a wonderful man like you then she doesn’t know what she is missing. The ball is in her court but please let her know how serious you are in order to achieve the real deal or else she may tell you okay and still be going out with him behind your back.