Given the fact that they never actually smushed, you would think the morning after the alleged JWoww and Psuly D hookup would be pretty chill.
But because all of their roommates wanted them to smush, and the principle players themselves were a little hazy on the events of the previous night, the following day was about as chill as a crime scene investigation.
Some important information was gathered.
For example, we now know that Snooki’s celebrity crush is Ben Affleck.
Unfortunately, despite much poking and prodding from the roommates, we’re no closer to understanding exactly why Jenni and Pauly drunkenly put on the brakes instead of barreling straight into Smush Town.
First, The Situation was made aware of … well, the situation.
“There was some incest happening last night,” Vinny told Mike, adding that “Mr. Delvecchio had a little rendezvous with Miss Woww.”
“Waking up this morning, I think Jenni’s on the same page as me,” Pauly said in a confessional, sounding a bit more sheepish than usual.
“We were always attracted to each other but she was always in a serious relationship.”
He stopped short of explaining exactly why he held off on sealing the deal with Jenni, but it seems his hookup sixth sense informed him they might be looking for different things.
“I always said if Pauly wanted to put effort into it, I would be very open to talking to Pauly,” Jenni said later.
Yeah, it sounds like JWoww would be interested in a relationship, whereas Pauly would be more onboard for a one-time fling just to satisfy his curiosity.
Probably a good thing these two didn’t go all the way.
Plus, Jenni was hammered and fresh from a bad breakup with Zack Carpinello.
The guys of Jersey Shore aren’t generally thought of as the most chivalrous gents on the block, but as Pauly reminded us on last night’s episode, they’ve all grown up a great deal.
And nothing made that more evident than the sprawling mansion Mike and his wife purchased.
The guidos are all homeowners these days, but the rest of the cast was still in awe of the Sorrentinos’ palatial estate.
When he had his housemates over for the first time, Mike broke the bad news of Lauren Pesce’s miscarriage.
It’s heartbreaking, of course, but Mike and Lauren seemed confident about trying again, and we wish them all the best.
Elsewhere in the episode, Angelina prepared for her wedding to Chris Larangeira, which mostly consisted of her roasting him for his lack of interest in the process.
Next week, the tables will turn when we finally see Pivarnick get roasted at her own wedding by people she thinks of as her best friends!
Sigh. We’re cringing already.