With the pandemic of Coronavirus raging through countries of the world, the stay at home directive issued by most countries have given many an unprecedented number of days at home with nothing to do. Not only does this mean that there are a lot of idle hands in many homes, it means that a lot of people with nothing to do will begin to do things out of character like rekindle an old relationship.
In the course of the week, a staunch reader of All About Her (AAH) reached out to us and explained how her ex-boyfriend who broke things off with her three months ago had just sent her an ‘I miss you’ text. You know them right? Those texts out of the blue that make your heart skip a beat and puts your brain on pause. This AAH reader was considering texting back or calling to make things right. She was even ready to pick up from where they left off.
Covid-19 (Coronavirus) shouldn’t make you stupid all over again. Your mind is probably working overtime trying to figure out how to respond to an ex who is contacting you and apparently might want you back.
He might indeed miss you a lot, but if you are in the middle of your no contact period, be strong. The rush of dopamine he was used to getting when you were around is missing. He needs a fix. Don’t give it to him just yet.
When your ex-boyfriend texts you out of the blue, it probably means he is curious about you. Maybe he is a nice guy and just saying hello. But more often than not, he is taking a temperature of the after breakup climate to see if you are open to talking. So he may be testing you to get a read on your willingness to reconsider. Depending on where you are in the recovery process, it may be appropriate to ignore him or respond and slowly repair the communication lines if you want to, but be sure it is what you want.
So, let’s assume you do get such a text and you don’t know what to do, here are four techniques that should prove effective with your ex-boyfriend.
» Don’t reply right away. Simply don’t respond to him for a good spell. Your silence will speak volumes and reset the expectation that you have no tolerance for immaturity. If he really wants to talk to you, he will wait. If not, you will have your answer when he gets bored.
» Be Bubbly. It’s not everyone that should know how you truly feel, including your ex. Even if you are down and depressed, put on a brave front before talking to him. Let him feel how strong you are emotionally without him.
» Always have something interesting to say. Light conversations are better with exes but ensure you keep it interesting.
» Keep in mind that there was a reason why you broke up in the first instance. Hold that firmly at the back of your mind and stay on guard.
Most importantly, make him understand that being idle is no reason for him to think he can get you back.